Cruisin' To Tha Woods
by Da Pimpstress Angel
Summary: A couple of girls decide to go on a road trip to a strange place in the woods. Before they even get there they encounter characters from movies (Stifler from American Pie, Alonzo from Training Day, Lee from Rush Hour, Finn from Great Expectations).
1. Bitch You Crazy?

Disclaimer: All the characters from this story are property of whatever movie company they came from, which I can only remember two of those movie companies but it doesn't really matter. And basically all the basic disclaimer stuff is here and blah blah.  
  
What Story Is About? In case the summary (which got cut off) wasn't enough, here's what basically happens. Two best friends decide to go on a trip to the woods, where strange things are known for happening. Before they even get there strange things happen when they meet random movie characters on the side of the road. As you can see I chose some rather strange ones, cuz my friends like those guys and they're the first ones I thought of. If you don't know who they are http://www.imdb.com is always a good source to look them up. Any ways, they go with these guys to the woods, and well…strange things happen. That's it, please enjoy! =)  
  
Chapter 1: Bitch You Crazy?  
  
  
  
"Wow, we're going on a trip to some strange place in the woods?" sarcastically exclaimed a not so happy Isabella Jackson. When she heard that her friend Marissa Thomas was planning a trip, she expected they would do something fun. For some strange reason Marissa had her heart set on exploring some strange place in the woods. Isabella had never heard of this place, and wasn't sure she wanted to go.  
  
"Hecka yea!" Marissa damn near shouted, "Especially since I was readin' up bout this place on the internet, and according to some people there is some strange shit goin' on over there."  
  
"Bitch you crazy?" Isabella interrupted Marissa before she continued.  
  
"Well, who would expect less." Marissa replied as she typed something on her computer.  
  
"Rissa, I must say. If I wasn't so bored I don't think I'd go with you on a crazy trip like this. But I'm bored, so I'm gonna go…I guess it might be fun." Isabella explained.  
  
"Of course it will be fun!" Marissa smiled. Isabella smiled as well but still wasn't sure whether or not she had made a good decision.  
  
"So when are we leaving?" Isabella decided to ask. Marissa glanced at the calender. "Tomorrow morning, meet at my place around 7 AM, ok? It should take us about 5 hours to drive there, then we'll have time to set up our camp. I have to make sure I charge the video camera, just in case we do see anything." Marissa explained. Isabella was feeling even more stupid, "Ok Marissa. Ok." 


	2. Cruisin'

Chapter 2: Cruisin'  
  
Isabella was at Marissa's place on time and they had been driving for about an hour. They found themselves in the middle of nowhere. As they were driving down the street they noticed a man trying to hitch a ride. He looked familiar.  
  
"Holy shit!" Isabella shouted, "That looks like Seann William Scott!" She damn near threatened to kill Marissa if she didn't stop the car, so then Marissa spared her life and…stopped the car. The man walked up to the passenger side (Isabella) and sure enough, it was Seann William Scott, or at least they were almost positive.  
  
"Seann William Scott?" Isabella asked.  
  
"No. My name is Stifler, but, that's ok because people accidentally call me Seann William Scott all the time…I wonder why. Hey girls, I'm stranded. You think I can get a ride with you guys?" Stifler asked innocently. Isabella glanced over at Marissa who was trying not to pay any attention.  
  
"Yea, Rissa, you think he can get a ride with us?" Isabella asked, not caring that the fact he was referring to himself as his "American Pie" character.  
  
"Sure…" Marissa replied not sure of her decision.  
  
"Where you heading?" Stifler asked.  
  
"Some strange place up in the woods where weird shit happens. You wanna camp with us Sea--Stifler?" Marissa replied.  
  
"It's better than standing out here." Stifler replied.  
  
"Then get in the car!" Isabella beamed as Stifler sat in the backseat. Marissa began to drive again. They didn't get far before they saw yet another man on the side of the street. Marissa damn near put on the breaks and shouted, "Holy shiznit! That's Denzel Washington!!" Isabella rolled her eyes then let out sarcasm, "Yay!" She still had memories of the beginning of "John Q" where he ran out of his house in his boxers, for some reason that made her stomach turn. He walked up to the driver's side, "Hey."  
  
"Hi Denzel!" Marissa greeted.  
  
"Denzel? That's not my name, it's Alonzo. Alonzo Harris." Alonzo replied.  
  
"Oooh, you're the "cop-turned-bad" from 'Training Day'…what's wrong?" Marissa suddenly became somewhat nervous.  
  
"Well, I quit that job, and now I don't have a job. So I'm lost, you think I can get a ride with you guys?" He asked. Marissa wasn't sure but what could he do? Pull at a gun at their heads? She laughed nervously, "Sure, get in. We're heading towards the woods first, kinda a little camping trip thing." He just smiled then sat in the back with Stifler. This was turning out to be one strange vacation. Isabella was getting a little frustrated with the fact that they were meeting random movie characters on the street, fearing there would soon be so many that one of them would have to sit on her lap. She didn't mind the thought of Seann sitting on her lap, but he wasn't Seann, he was Stifler, who was sometimes a little perverted. Isabella kept hoping she would wake up and it would all be over, but instead she woke up from a nap just in time to see yet another guy on the side of the road.  
  
"Oh, it's Jackie Chan, or I bet Detective Inspector Lee!" Isabella exclaimed with sarcastic enthusiasm. Marissa slowly pulled over, not getting a little frightened by this. He did a special little move to get to the driver's side.  
  
"Hello, can I get a ride with you? I need to get anywhere but here!" He asked politely but loudly.  
  
"Sure, hop on in Lee." Marissa remarked not even looking outside. He didn't respond about the name so they all figured it was Detective Lee. He ended up sitting in the middle.  
  
"Ok that's enough!!!" Isabella shouted, "We don't have room for anymore!" 


	3. Is There Room For One More?

Chapter 3: Is There Room for One More?  
  
"Ok people! People!" Marissa announced in a loud tone. It worked, she had everyone's attention.  
  
"Ok…we are about an hour away from our destination, just wanted to let ya'll know!" Marissa shouted then focused on the road, only to see………another guy standing on the side of the road. Isabella almost screamed but instead just started to panic as they passed him up, "Turn back! Turn back! Oh my goodness gracious! That was Ethan Hawke! EETTTHAAAAAN! TURN BACK!"  
  
Fearing that if the bitch didn't shut up they would get into an accident Marissa let out a long sigh then turned around. Ethan went to the passenger side, "Is there room for one more?"  
  
"Yup, on my lap, is the only place though, or…of course I can sit on yours. Anything for you Ethan." Isabella smiled.  
  
"That's fine." He responded, "But my name is Finn." Marissa wanted to shout "hell no!", she didn't want characters from "Great Expectations" in her car, but then she thought of car accident and kept quiet as her friend got out of the car and then sat on Ethan's lap. It was pathetic. She drove off wondering if there was some special meaning to all of this, it was rather strange. Those weren't actors in her car, they were movie characters. What was up with that? Oh well, she thought to herself, it was ok. 


	4. We're Here!

Chapter 4: We're Here!  
  
Marissa parked and everybody was happy. They had finally arrived in the strange place in the woods she had been obsessing about. After that they all got out of the car, Marissa went towards the trunk, then immediately noticed a problem. They only had two tents that could barely hold 2 people, when there was 6 people!  
  
"Holy shit cows in the heavens above!" Marissa exclaimed quite loudly, "Either some of you bitches volunteer to sleep outside or were gonna have to sleep pretty damn close together. Thank God it ain't hot up in here!"  
  
Isabella immediately glanced at Finn, "You can stay with me!" Nobody else really cared to stay outside because of all the things Marissa had told them about the place. She had scared them shitless.  
  
Marissa let out a long sigh, "Ok, ok. I guess…aye…we can spread out the sleeping bags, leave our extra shit outside, and just squish together. Three to each tent."  
  
"Finn is going to be with me." Isabella explained to her friend.  
  
"Then that's a place I don't wanna be." Marissa mumbled.  
  
"I stay with Isabella." Lee announced, he liked Isabella…hahaha! Isabella would have preferred Stifler but she got Lee.  
  
Marissa shrugged, "Let's set up…" 


	5. Smile! You're On Candid Camera!

Chapter 5: Smile! You're on Candid Camera!  
  
"Marissa! Why the hell did you actually bring that damn thing?!" Isabella was going insane over a video camera.  
  
"JUST IN CASE WE SEE SOMETHING!" Marissa spoke into the camera, she was now recording so she decided to explain the setting to future viewers. "Hello Clarice!" Marissa joked, "My name is Marissa." She smiled then turned the camera towards the rather angry Isabella, "And THIS is Isabella. Right now it's around 5 o' clock, and starting to get dark, and me and Isabella are here in the middle of the woods with some friends we picked up along the way." She put the camera towards each other them, "We have Steve Stifler, Alonzo Harris, Detective Lee, and Finn Bell. Isn't that just special!"  
  
Isabella was getting frustrated as her friend blabbed on and on and finally she couldn't take it anymore, "Marissa! Turn that damn thing off NOW!" Marissa frowned into the camera attempting puppy dog eyes, "I'm sorry my fellow viewers, but it looks like for the purposes of a PMSing Isabella, I will have to leave you wondering for now, what is going on with our happy crew. Goodbye." With that she turned it off and put it away inside the tent. She wanted to make sure that stayed safe. After that she lit a match and started a fire out of the firewood they had.  
  
"Aye, why don't we all sit around like camp kids and get to know each other…" Isabella mumbled.  
  
"That wouldn't be such a bad idea. We're basically stuck with four strangers. Sure, I've seen all the movies their from but…maybe we can get to know them at a more personal level." Marissa explained.  
  
"I'll make sure to get to know Finn at a more personal level." Isabella smiled somewhat evily.  
  
"Ya do that." Marissa replied, not very interested in hearing any of her friend's fantasies. 


	6. The First Night

Chapter 6: The First Night  
  
Marissa was suddenly frightened by her choice of vacation place after noticing several random noises. Therefore she found herself "safely" cuddled in between two guys hoping they would protect her. "Why did I EVER choose to come here…" she thought to herself. She continued thinking more, when suddenly her thoughts were disturbed when she felt a hand on her ass. It was Stifler, that pervert.  
  
"Steven Stifler, get your damn hand OFF my ass right now." Marissa whispered somewhat loudly.  
  
"Oh sorry Marissa. I heard something, got kinda scared, grabbed the first thing I could, and it was your ass." Stifler explained.  
  
Marissa sat up. "Yea… so? Watch what you grab! If right now I randomly grabbed something, it would most likely be Alonzo's dick, so don't give me that excuse!" Marissa was furious.  
  
"What?" Alonzo asked.  
  
"Never mind." Marissa sat back down. Marissa was now sitting on her back so she wouldn't have her front facing neither of them, and wouldn't have her ass facing neither of them, she was safe. They both didn't want to face the other way, because you could see the outside, and well, everyone was petrified.  
  
Meanwhile in the other tent, Isabella was by Finn who was by Lee. Finn had fallen asleep so Isabella took her opportunity to cuddle with him. Nothing in the world could scare her when she was cuddled close to her Finn, or as she continued to just say in her mind it was Ethan Hawke. Soon enough she fell asleep. Lee was asleep too, everyone in that tent was asleep.  
  
In the other tent, nobody was asleep. Suddenly a strange laugh could be heard in the distance, "He he ha ha he he." Marissa started shaking, "OMG…what the hell was that…"  
  
"Holy shit." Stifler said silently and grabbed the nearest thing again, this time Marissa's breast. She quickly and shakily grabbed his hand and threw it off. "I don't like this…" Marissa said, her voice shaky. Next they heard the laugh again only this time it was closer. Marissa then used both of her hands and grabbed whatever, which unfortunately for her ended up being Alonzo's crotch, and Stifler's arm. She didn't even notice she was so scared.  
  
"You're squeezing my arm." Stifler somewhat complained through a shaky voice.  
  
"Yea, well she's squeezing my dick!" Alonzo added. Marissa quickly removed her hand and grabbed his hand instead, "Sorry."  
  
"Oh my goodness…oh my goodness…" Marissa whispered over and over, "What…time is it? Is it almost 6, when there will be daylight?!" Alonzo glanced at his watch, "No, it's only 10." Marissa grip got tighter, "Heh, only 8 more hours." After that she let go and slowly got up. Just as she got up, the laugh got even louder, then there was thunder. She almost screamed but instead just found herself holding rather tightly onto Alonzo, he WAS a pretty good with guns, and was a cop, surely he could protect her. She didn't have much to say about what Stifler could so as far as life saving goes. Stifler just sat somewhat disappointed, "Hey, why don't you grab my arm again, I'm here for you."  
  
"Hell no, he was a cop." Marissa replied.  
  
After about five minutes of this, the laugh was now very very close, and suddenly the zipper of their tent began to go down, somebody from outside was opening it. 


End file.
